<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Fool For Love by STARSdidathing</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30077460">Fool For Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing'>STARSdidathing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Ideas, Feels, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Lies, Light Angst, Loki &amp; Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Pining Loki (Marvel), Post-Avengers (2012), Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Shapeshifting, Tony Feels, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:41:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,920</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30077460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki will do a lot for love, but it doesn't always mean he'll do the right or <i>honourable</i> thing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>483</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fool For Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Enjoy the feels! :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Loki had always been a fool for love.</p><p>Very few would think him capable of feeling such tender emotions, but Loki had always been one to love deeply and do anything possible to please the ones he cared for just to gain a sliver of their attention and affection.</p><p>Yet, despite the depths he would go to for those who held his heart, very few actually <i>earned</i> his devotion. His adopted family had held that coveted position for many centuries, now, he was more inclined to snarl and spit and hurt them (because they had <i>hurt</i> him, so deeply and irrevocably).</p><p>They had also thrown him to Midgard to ‘redeem’ himself by helping Thor’s band of mortal heroes.</p><p>And it was that very action which had placed Loki in his current position.</p><p>Loki had known he would do anything for the ones he loved, but even <i>he</i> had not anticipated how truly pathetic he would become.</p><p>He had fallen for a mortal. A man with no end in sight to his admirers. A highly beloved and attractive mortal with his choice of bed partners and spouses. He had no current lover, but Loki knew it was only a matter of time before Miss Potts was replaced.</p><p>Anthony was the brightest spark on Midgard’s realm and glowed all the more beautifully for it.</p><p>Loki had been attracted to him at first; his handsome body, his sharp intellect… but then he had fallen for his charm, his kindness, the way he could make Loki <i>laugh</i>. Loki had slipped past infatuation and into unshaking, unbreakable devotion.</p><p>But, he was Loki, and Loki <i>never</i> got what he wanted.</p><p>Loki knew he was beyond lucky to gain the mortal’s friendship. He should content himself with that, he should resign himself to only having a fraction of what he truly wanted.</p><p>But, Loki was a selfish, greedy, yearning <i>fool</i>.</p><p>When Anthony declared he was going to a mortal bar, Barton winked and teased him for having another ‘<i>one-night stand</i>’. Anthony laughed and teased back and Loki… Loki was a <i>fool</i>.</p><p>But, he followed Anthony and he stood in the bathroom of the establishment. He let his form shift, modelling himself off the beautiful women that Anthony had admired in movies. He kept his hair black but let it fall to his waist. He made his eyes blue, his features were soft and round. His body had curves and he wore a red dress with gold jewellery. </p><p>His skin was a light tan and Loki knew he was aesthetically beautiful. He would be the perfect ‘<i>one-night stand</i>’. He would also be betraying Anthony’s trust by using lies and tricks to slip into his bed, but Loki so desperately <i>wanted</i> Anthony.</p><p>As long as Anthony didn’t know, who would it hurt?</p><p>Well, perhaps it would hurt <i>him</i>, but Loki tried not to think about it as he made his way out of the bathroom and into the bar. It was an expensive place as was fitting for a man like Anthony Stark. The lighting was low and while there were a number of patrons, Anthony was the only person Loki saw.</p><p>He was sitting at the bar, a drink in front of him and a morose slump to his shoulders. It was not the sight Loki expected to see and he hesitated for a moment. Anthony gave off the aura of someone who wanted to be left alone, rather than the air of someone looking for a ‘<i>good time</i>’.</p><p>But, Loki steeled his nerve and made his way to the bar. He didn’t sit directly beside Anthony as he would have in his own form. He took one stool down, making his intention of speaking to Anthony obvious without crowding him.</p><p>Anthony glanced over but apart from a cursory glance, he turned back to his drink. Loki didn’t let it dissuade him. He’d made a choice, and he would not get this opportunity again.</p><p>“I was once told there’s nothing sadder than drinking alone,” Loki said.</p><p>It was something Anthony had said, on numerous occasions, when Loki had first come to the tower. He’d been trying to tempt Loki to sit down for a drink and a discussion about magic. He’d wanted to learn, and Loki had been amused enough to allow it.</p><p>It was how they had become friends.</p><p>Anthony’s mouth twitched over the words. “I guess sadness is on the menu then.”</p><p>Loki frowned, and for a moment, he wanted to drop his guise and show himself to Anthony, if only so that he could console his friend and discover what was wrong. But, to do so would be to ruin any chance of being with Anthony. It might also anger Anthony, knowing he was followed and so easily tricked.</p><p>Anthony had given no indication as to his unhappiness, and that meant, as much as it stung, he hadn’t wished to confide it in Loki.</p><p>He forced himself to smile, to pretend he didn’t care about what troubled Anthony; as a stranger, a <i>one-night stand</i>, he would only want one thing.</p><p>“Well, perhaps I can be the one to cheer you up?” He added a flirtatious note to his voice, making his intention obvious.</p><p>Anthony was not oblivious, but instead of a smile or any of his well-known charm, Anthony’s voice was gentle but firm, “Thanks, but I’m not looking for someone to ‘<i>cheer me up</i>’.”</p><p>Loki was shocked. “But… you…”</p><p>“Yeah, look,” Anthony said, a hint of irritation in his voice. “I get that I had a reputation, but I don’t do that anymore.” Seeing her surprise, and likely the hurt Loki couldn’t hide (his only chance, wasn’t even <i>possible</i>.) Anthony softened and sighed. He waved over the bartender. “Look, sorry. It took guts to come over here. Let me buy you a drink.”</p><p>Loki didn’t refuse, he gave a soft request for a cosmopolitan and when it arrived, he stared down at the pink liquid. He knew Anthony hadn’t rejected <i>him</i>, but it still felt just as painful; even in a guise, Anthony was untouchable.</p><p><i>Perhaps he senses the one beneath the pretty charade</i>, a bitter voice in his mind whispered.</p><p>It hurt all the more.</p><p>He must have looked more pathetic than he thought, because he felt a gentle touch to his arm. He jerked and glanced over at Anthony. The mortal’s expression was sad and guilty.</p><p>“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. It has nothing to do with you.”</p><p>Loki laughed bitterly, and before he could stop himself, he said, “Really? I come over here, offering myself on a plate and you just…” he trailed off and looked away. He clenched his teeth, but the words still slipped out, “Am I just not enough?”</p><p>He knew his voice had hitched on the last word. It was so <i>pathetic</i>. It wasn’t his true form, it wasn’t even <i>him</i>, but the rejection still cut deep. He wanted Anthony so <i>much</i>, and to be told no? It sent lances of pain through his heart.</p><p>“Awh, fuck,” Anthony hissed. “It’s not you, okay? God, five years ago and I would have taken you home in an instant. You’re absolutely gorgeous.”</p><p>Loki lifted his head, daring to look at Anthony and seeing both the honesty on his face and the misery. “Then… why?”</p><p>Anthony looked like he was debating his answer, but Loki saw the moment he decided to give in. He slumped and let out a soft sigh. “Because there’s someone I want, and even if I can’t have them, it doesn’t make my heart any less committed to them.”</p><p>Loki had thought this night could not possibly hurt him any further, but hearing Anthony’s words, Loki knew he had been wrong. His heart cracked; fissures of pure agony spreading out from the centre and leaving him staring at Anthony and trying to hide his heartache.</p><p>Because, Anthony did not know who he was, he was a pretty stranger who had never met Anthony before. Anthony did not know how much that had pained Loki: his friend and the man who had fallen in love with him.</p><p>But, he had already lost. The race had been won and another person had claimed Anthony’s heart.</p><p>
  <i>And they do not want him.</i>
</p><p>It made a different pain, a softer agony alight in his chest; because Anthony was sad and hurting, and Loki would do anything to comfort him.</p><p>Loki would even wish him success with the one he wanted, even knowing how much that would break his own heart. His hand was tentative but he gently placed it on Anthony’s arm. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Anthony smiled bitterly. He picked up his glass and gave a shrug. “Life’s a bitch. I got used to it a long time ago.”</p><p>He threw back his drink and Loki took the time to watch him. He had never had an inkling that Anthony was pining for another (Miss Potts, Loki could only assume). Loki supposed Anthony tried not to think about it, burying it deep so that no one could see.</p><p>No one, save, a pretty young woman who had gained his rejection.</p><p>And Loki had always been both a fool for love, and someone who would take innumerable weight if he was taking it from the shoulders of the one’s he cared about.</p><p>It was why he offered with a soft voice and caring eyes, “Would you like to talk about it?”</p><p>Anthony glanced at him, looking surprised and suspicious. Loki knew that Anthony was a very guarded person, but Loki also knew the benefits of speaking to someone you did not know. </p><p>It was a breach of trust, of course, to do this when Anthony didn’t know it was <i>him</i>, but Anthony was hurting. If Loki could make it better, he would do anything within his power, even lie to his dearest friend, and the man he loved.</p><p>Anthony debated it for a long moment, but eventually, he sighed and slumped. “Why does love have to hurt so much?”</p><p>Loki swallowed down both the bile and the bitterness and answered, far more genuinely than Anthony probably expected, “I have asked myself that more times than I can count.”</p><p>Anthony’s eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. It took half a moment before he pointed at Loki. “You love someone too.”</p><p>Loki’s eyes fell away guiltily, glancing at the drink he hadn’t yet taken a sip from. </p><p>“Why would you come over to me then?” Anthony asked.</p><p>Loki smiled, but it was sad little thing. “Because something is better than nothing, isn’t it?”</p><p>There was a long pause before, “I don’t think you believe that.”</p><p>Loki glanced over at Anthony and they shared a look that was understanding and resigned; two depressed souls, desperately in love and unable to have who they wanted.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter what I believe,” Loki said quietly. “I cannot have him. Why not try and,” <i>gain a fraction of what I want</i>, “find some pleasure somewhere.”</p><p>“Because it won’t work,” Anthony said simply. “Take it from a playboy with a long list of meaningless flings.”</p><p>Anthony was right, of course, but it didn’t make Loki feel any better. He finally touched his drink, but didn’t take a sip, he twirled the straw through the mixture. </p><p>“I just wish…” Loki trailed off, but when Anthony didn’t say anything, patiently waiting, he found himself admitting, “I wish I could make it hurt less.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Anthony admitted, sounding as sorrowful as him. “So do I.”</p><p>“I sometimes wish I did not love him but…”</p><p>“They light up your life too much,” Anthony finished, his voice full of understanding.</p><p>It hurt. Anthony was in love. Anthony had <i>unrequited</i> love. There was nothing about the situation that brought Loki an ounce of joy, expect perhaps, that he was <i>with</i> Anthony. Even when he was in pain, even when Anthony was hurting as well, Loki would always cherish <i>time</i> with Anthony.</p><p>Because, Anthony was mortal, and time was something he would never have enough of, not without a golden apple, and Odin would not give them away so easily.</p><p>“I’m sorry they do not love you back,” Loki whispered. He raised his head and held Anthony’s gaze. “You deserve every happiness, Anthony Stark.”</p><p>Anthony’s lips twitched, moving towards but not quite making a smile. “I’m sorry they don’t love you either. You’re a knockout and seem like a nice person. You deserve a guy who understands how amazing you are.”</p><p>Loki gave a half-smile and for a moment they were quiet before Anthony let out a loud huff of breath. “Fuck, this <i>is</i> depressing. Look at us sad sacks. We should do something to liven the mood.”</p><p>“Oh?” Loki asked. “What do you suggest?”</p><p>Anthony looked around before alighting on a currently empty DJ booth. “What do you say I hook that up and play us some music?”</p><p>“I’m not sure that’s allowed,” Loki remarked.</p><p>“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Anthony questioned, already beginning to stand up.</p><p>Loki found himself smiling and doing the same. After all, it might not be what he’d planned, but he was still spending time with Anthony, and that was what counted.</p>
<hr/><p>Anthony got the music working (and threw money at the manager when he complained) and he dragged Loki onto a makeshift dancefloor and spun him around. They laughed and danced to numerous songs, stopping only occasionally to go back to the bar for refreshments.</p><p>They didn’t talk about the people they loved, they didn’t do anything that wasn’t designed to make them smile and laugh.</p><p>It wasn’t a date, but by the Gods, it sometimes <i>felt</i> like one.</p><p>Loki didn’t want the night to end, not when he’d been able to dance with Anthony and press himself against the other man’s body.</p><p>Yet, it did have to end, because Loki was a nameless woman who’d met Anthony in a bar, and shared a painful connection of unrequited love.</p><p>When it went past midnight, Loki knew things would be ending. Anthony never stayed out later than midnight when he went to a bar.</p><p>They were sitting at a table now, Loki was on his third cosmopolitan, Anthony was on his second glass of scotch. Neither of them were tipsy, let alone drunk. Anthony had just tipped back the last of his drink, and Loki knew what was coming before Anthony turned to him.</p><p>Loki knew his expression must have been resigned as Anthony’s expression gained a touch of sadness. “I had fun tonight.”</p><p>“So did I,” he replied.</p><p>Anthony sighed. He reached out and lightly touched Loki’s chin. He stiffened, his eyes widening. Anthony was giving him a searching look. Loki didn’t know what he was looking for, but whatever he found, it made Anthony’s sadness deepen.</p><p>“It’s not going to help,” Anthony told Loki gently. “But if you still want someone to take to bed, I’ll leave with you tonight.”</p><p>Loki sucked in a breath. It was everything he had aimed for, everything he had <i>wanted</i> – but he knew in that moment, it would never be enough. He also knew that, while he might have been willing to hurt his own heart, he couldn’t hurt Anthony.</p><p>He lifted up his hand, letting his fingers skate over Anthony’s cheek. “Thank you, but I can’t do that. We both deserve more than that.”</p><p>Anthony gave a faint smile. He let Loki’s chin go and ducked in, pressing a soft kiss to Loki’s cheek. Loki closed his eyes at a feeling he’d wanted for so long. </p><p>By the time Anthony had pulled back, Loki had opened his eyes and schooled his expression.</p><p>“Take care,” Anthony told him. “And good luck.”</p><p>“You too,” Loki answered, and with one more smile, Anthony turned on his heel and left the bar. Loki stayed behind, watching Anthony until he disappeared from sight. </p><p>The moment he was gone, Loki closed his eyes and slumped forward, pressing his face into his hands.</p><p><i>What a fool</i>, he thought. <i>What a pathetic, love sick, fool.</i></p><p>Because, in the end, he’d walked away with more pain than he’d started with.</p>
<hr/><p>Loki didn’t sleep well that night. </p><p>He returned to the tower long after Anthony had. He’d left the bar and found a rooftop to lay on, looking up at the sky and longing for Asgardian stars.</p><p>He’d also longed for Anthony at his side, their shoulders brushing and their fingers curling around one another. Loki had closed his eyes and remembered the feel of Anthony’s lips brushing his cheek.</p><p>When even he could no longer suffer his maudlin behaviour, he had returned to his rooms in the tower. He had showered and laid down in bed, tossing and turning before eventually drifting to sleep sometime in the early hours.</p><p>He didn’t need as much rest as a mortal, but he still felt tired when he rose three hours later. He spent some time debating what to do with what he had learned, but in the end, he decided to stay silent.</p><p>Anthony had not confided in him and although the lack of trust pained him deeply, he didn’t wish to remind Anthony of his heartache. He would pretend as if nothing had happened, and he would horde the few dances and the single kiss in his memory.</p><p>When he learned Anthony was already in the lab, Loki took a tea down with him. He braced himself and walked through the doors with an easy smile and relaxed air. Anthony glanced up at him, and perhaps because Loki <i>knew</i> that Anthony carried a weight on his heart, it made it easier to see the tightness to his eyes and the strain to his grin.</p><p>He tried to ignore it. </p><p>“Have you made any progress on our projects?” He questioned and took a seat in the chair he had long claimed as his own. “I have promised Thor I will spar with him later this afternoon.” He rolled his eyes. “Why the fool believes I enjoy such activities, I will never comprehend.”</p><p>Anthony was silent, he simply stared at him, a strange expression on his face; something determined yet agonised.</p><p>“Anthony?” Loki asked, worry slipping into his tone.</p><p>“We’re friends, aren’t we? I mean… we had a rocky start but, since you’ve been living here, we became friends. Good friends. Close even, right?” </p><p>Loki blinked, surprised. “Yes, of course.” Anthony nodded and swallowed noticeably. He looked unusually distressed, even anxious. “Anthony? What’s wrong?”</p><p>His eyes had fallen away from Loki, but he brought them back now, and the pained hope within them stopped Loki’s heart.</p><p>“I’ve been walking around for months thinking I don’t have a chance in hell, that it’s better to say nothing than to open my mouth and remove all doubt, but,” he swallowed again. “But, I can’t keep doing that. You might wish I’d never said a fucking word, and you’ll probably tell me no, but… but, Loki, I’m so fucking in love with you and I can’t keep holding it back.” His eyes shone with yearning. “I want to date you. I want to hold your hand, and kiss you, and be your partner.” He pulled in a shaky breath. “I want you, and I… I get you probably won’t ever want me back, but I need to hear you say no, or I’m going to spend the rest of my life chasing after you.”</p><p>The shock kept Loki frozen, seconds passing as he tried to understand that Anthony loved <i>him</i>, but the moment it truly, deeply registered, Loki was leaning forward. He almost fell out of his chair, but he didn’t care. They were close enough that he could press his lips against Anthony’s.</p><p>Anthony let out a surprised, needy sound and Loki cupped Anthony’s face in his hands. Anthony fisted his hands in Loki’s shirt and they both simply <i>held on</i> as they kissed like they never wanted to stop; the pain and desperation they felt was being washed away, chased aside by incredulity, longing and affection.</p><p>Loki broke them apart, if only to look down into Anthony’s beautiful face and whisper, “I love you. I have loved you for so long. I was certain you did not care for me. I was certain you were <i>out of my reach</i>.”</p><p>“Never,” Anthony whispered, his voice fierce but his eyes bubbling with delight. “Loki, you only ever had to ask, and I would have been yours.”</p><p>The words were meant as a loving vow, something to assure Loki of his welcome, but instead, it reminded Loki of something else. His smile faded and it was his turn to feel anxiousness crash through him. Anthony noticed in a moment.</p><p>“Loki?” He asked, concerned. “What’s the matter?”</p><p>“I… I have done something.” Loki closed his eyes and leant close, pressing their foreheads together. “I did it knowing you would be angry if you knew. I never planned to say a word. I merely… I merely wanted…”</p><p>“Loki?” Anthony asked when he trailed off. He brought up a hand and stroked Loki’s cheek. “What did you do?”</p><p>He didn’t answer immediately, he pressed a second, soft kiss to Anthony’s lips. He hoped that Anthony could forgive him, but should he not, he wanted one more chance to kiss the other man.</p><p>When he pulled back this time, he removed his hands from Anthony and even when Anthony tried to hold onto him, he untangled Anthony’s fingers. He couldn’t let go of the mortal’s hands, but he made himself hold Anthony’s eyes as he shifted his form.</p><p>Anthony’s eyes widened in recognition and shock as he saw the woman from the previous night.</p><p>“I thought if I could be with you just once, if I could be the one you chose, even if just for a single evening, it would be enough.” Loki shook his head and dropped the guise. “But, I knew by the end of the night, I could never go through with it.” Anthony was still looking disbelieving. “I’m sorry, Anthony.”</p><p>Anthony’s eyes finally caught his, and instead of the anger or betrayal he expected, he only saw sadness. “You were talking about me.” He gave a pained smile. “And I was talking about <i>you</i>.”</p><p>“I never meant to-”</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay,” Anthony insisted, cutting him off. He then grimaced. “Okay, it’s actually a really shitty thing you were going to do, but,” he sighed. “I get it. God, the amount of times, I thought about asking you for a fling. I… yeah, I probably would have tried too, if I was in your position.” He squeezed Loki’s hands. “I’m glad you didn’t do it though.”</p><p>“So am I,” Loki whispered.</p><p>“Although,” Anthony gave a small laugh. “I’m glad you <i>did</i> show up. Nothing like looking at someone else’s unrequited love to make you decide to do something about your own.” He smiled. “And, what do you know, we both got our man.”</p><p>“Yes.” Loki chuckled. “We did.”</p><p>Carefully, he closed the distance he had put between them, feeling a surge of joy when Anthony welcomed him with open arms. It allowed him to lean in close and brush their foreheads together and then, when Anthony only smiled, Loki kissed him.</p><p>It seemed both a miracle and a dream when Anthony kissed him back with just as much enthusiasm and desire. </p><p>Loki had always been a fool for love, but for the first time in his long life, Loki didn’t consider it a pathetic failing - instead, in this case, he thought it might be a blessing.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>